Daddy kink is rising, there’s no doubt about that. Whether it was a trend started by hot daddy-boi relationships like Matt Bomer and his dad-candy or whether it’s been a thing for a while remains a mystery (to me, at least). What is it about gay men in particular that draws us in about the “daddy” persona? Is there a deeper meaning or is it just preference?
Is it normal to be turned on by older guys?
The thing about daddy kink is that just like pretty much everything else in the world that’s not vanilla, it’s a fetish. Yes it might not be something weird like toe sucking or insect crushing (I shit you not), but it falls under the category of well, daddy kink.
Needless to say, a “daddy” isn’t always an older man, but it is someone who appears or acts like the older, firmer and more dominant personality in the relationship. Guys tend to be attracted to the no-nonsense attitude that a lot of “daddies” have – someone they can give their full trust and control to, someone who doesn’t thrive on drama or bullshit. If you look at it that way, it would make sense to have some sort of caregiver in your relationship.
Anyway, back to my point.
Now, even though they’re not always older men, the fact of the matter is that a vast majority of them are older men. So why are so many young guys into older men sexually? I mean mostly their beards are shaggy and unkempt, their ears and noses are always big and some have saggy balls and smell of retirement village. OK, maybe your daddy isn’t that old.
Now, I’m not one to cry “daddy issues!” from the sideline, so let’s explore what is really going on psychologically when you’re attracted to older men and vise versa. According to Sigmund Freud (not me… #justsaying), fetishes are “sexual perversions caused by childhood trauma”, but Freud lived a long time ago when fetishes weren’t really as openly accepted as they are now, and as a result, we don’t necessarily see fetishes as the shadow of a past evil. That, and the fact that Freud compared everything to sexual perversion, even stating once that toddlers are sexually attracted to their parents, which is both appalling and scientifically untrue. However, Freud did give psychologists the basics of psychology that helped future generations understand the deeper meaning to the emotional things we experience.
For example, having a daddy fetish in today’s day and age doesn’t necessarily mean your dad abused you in some brutal form to make you fantasize about your dad doing nasty things to you (shudder…), it could simply mean that you admire your father and would like someone with the likeness of your dad to be your life partner.
That’s not to say that all cases are like this. Of course you get the sex offenders out there that once had horrible and brutal daddy issues that have shaped them into the messed up adults that they are, unfortunately nobody can sugar-coat that, but the fact of the matter is that most people just enjoy in a bit of role-play with a dominant dude who just happens to have that dad-bod or dad-persona that makes you feel comfortable.
If we compare guys to different types of food – a muscular, young and exciting guy would be a triple chocolate sundae – fun, sweet and exciting, but if you eat too much you’ll get sick of it. Then, we compare a daddy to, let’s say, mash potatoes – it works well with almost everything, it’s comforting and it reminds you of home. You also won’t get sick of it too easily. So yes, it’s very normal to be attracted to older guys.
Contributor – Brock Avery
Brock is a retired gay porn star. He has worked for some of the biggest studios in the USA and Germany. Brock likes to share his knowledge of all things hot and jock. His passions are great sex and hard gym workouts