You may think, ignorantly, that being a great master is being the macho-est, “butchest” and “baddest” mofo on this side of the seaside, but you couldn’t be further from the truth. True that it helps to have an intimidating exterior, but you can’t be a successful dom by being an arrogant douche-bag. If this is your thinking, you have a lot to learn, young man.
So what does make a great master?
You might be surprised by the answer, but being a good dom has nothing to do with being the meanest, fiercest guy in the game. Life isn’t a Jason Statham film and being the alpha is about being respected, not feared. Look at some great leaders of our past. Gandhi and Abraham Lincoln, for example. Or Jon Snow, if you prefer. Do you think they’d be where they were without their morals and some, dare I say it… compassion?
Being a great dom is about listening to your sub’s needs, respecting his boundaries, letting him feel he can trust you and making him feel safe. Yes, you need to be hard-ball when it comes to the actual act of playing out a scene, because that’s the appeal of it, but once the curtains drop and the show is over, you need to be human. Know that once the game is over, you need to be their safety blanket.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you are not the dom any more once the game ends. You’re just a different kind of dom. Being a daddy dom myself, I believe that being the one your sub turns to when they need to feel safe, is vital. The bond of trust you build can be fundamental when it comes to the sexual side of things, because the more your sub trusts you, the better the experience will be for the both of you. Not to mention the fact that a sub who trusts you will let you push their limits a little further each time you play, but don’t take advantage of this.
Be the antagonist when it comes to sub-dom sexual play, push boundaries to their limits (and a little further if it feels right), humiliate, scare, mock and punish your sub in the way they like it. Don’t stop until they use the safe word, which could be anything that the both of you feel comfortable with. I prefer “boobies” as it’s a funny word and confuses my penis amidst a hard-core and intense BDSM scene with my male sub. Laugh out loud!
However, remember to be the protagonist when the naughty play is over. Be what your sub needs, because subs are genetically programmed this way – needy.
Be their reason for existence, only then will you be a great master.
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Contributor – Logan Turner
Logan is a 32 year old, single daddy dom and stripper from New York, USA who loves nothing more than to teach his sub boys just how to please him.