When the honeymoon phase is over and your relationship is at a sexual crossroad, where it’s either a hassle to get in the mood for sex or a chore – you know things are only going to go downhill from there. What should we do when things start to look gray and getting it up for your partner just seems like it’s work? You still love them, but you’re both just so tired and not in the mood – all the time. Until it reaches the point where you’re having sex every once a month, if you’re lucky.
How can I initiate more sex into my relationship?
Firstly, just know that this is completely normal. Not every relationship is based on a nymphomania-sex-cycle and not in every relationship (especially from about 3 years and up) stays in the honeymoon phase. It’s up to you and your partner to work on things. It might sound like effort and a chore you just don’t feel like doing, but if you truly love your partner and are willing to make sacrifices to save your relationship, these are things you need to work on.
Most relationships get to a dead-end when it comes to sex. Either work gets straining, you’re stressed, or you just don’t like it anymore because it’s boring. The same old person doing the same old sex face, in the same old position. You wouldn’t watch a television series with the same plot and ending every day, so why should your sex life be any different?
Spice things the FUCK up!
You’re at the point in your relationship where either you or your partner is going to end up in bed with another person – and you didn’t need me to tell you that. It’s pretty much common sense, but with those love goggles on, you’re in denial and not seeing it. I know, I’ve been there. Who hasn’t? This is the “make it” or “break it” point of your relationship. Either you incorporate some freaky sex magic or you break up. That’s it.
Sit down, speak to your partner and suggest some things to spice up the flavour of your stale sex life. You both might be a bit wary about some of my suggestions, but THEY WORK. Believe me, nothing vanilla is going to save your relationship right now. Open your mind and try new things.
- Swinging – Yes, this shit has been scientifically proven to fix relationships, so put your jealousy aside and try it out. Do a search on the web, it’s easier to find than you might think.
- Roleplay – This is usually a bit of a saver for the more vanilla types – dress and act like someone completely different. Teacher, stripper, superhero – the list is endless, just search “roleplay porn” for ideas.
- Webcamming – Either doing it online with your partner or paying someone online to be the third person in your threesome (if you’re not quite up to doing a real threesome). Doing the nasty with your partner on a site like Chaturbate.com for “tips” can be quite fun as it makes you feel sexy to know that so many people would pay to watch you have sex and paying someone else to tell you what to do to each other can be a complete thrill.
- Sex Tape – If you’re unwilling to film yourself on webcam, why not just make a sex tape for your own personal use? Film each other, but make it sexy – pretend to film it for an audience. Use props to make it interesting. Use candle wax, paddles to spank one another, chocolate body paint, dirty talk – the works.
- Make It An Event – Don’t think of it as a chore. Think of it as an EVENT. Something to look forward to. Schedule a time of day – every day – and stick to the schedule. Try something new every night and plan it in advance. Perhaps take from this list and do one thing every day. Perhaps you find something you genuinely like and you both can sit down and pick the next week’s events based on your favourite sexual activities at the end of the first week.
The trick is for you both to be open-minded and to explore yourselves sexually. No judgement. If you can’t be yourself around your partner, who can you be yourself in front of?
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Contributor – Brock Avery
Brock is a retired gay porn star. He has worked for some of the biggest studios in the USA and Germany. Brock likes to share his knowledge of all things hot and jock. His passions are great sex and hard gym workouts